Psst! Derren Brown...
An Open Letter to Derren Brown
Dear Mr Brown
Firstly, I must apologise for the shameless self-promotion and public display of my yellow t-shirted body.
You must believe me that it was never my intention to flaunt my body publicly in such a way. Actually, I'm quite a private person (though I admit it might not look that way right now.)
I'm sure my family will be horrified (apologies*) and even my friends really quite surprised (get used to it - I've wasted enough of my life now and it's time for me to change.)
The mere thought of getting up on stage to perform like you do terrifies me, so of course I am full of admiration for you (but not in a sycophantic way).
Unfortunately, I'm going to have to get used to it...
... as you will find out if you grant my wish and take the opportunity to talk to me about this "personal business" of mine.
You needn't worry Mr Brown, it's nothing rude or embarrassing (and I've been happily married for 20 years, so I'm not going to stalk you.)
Anxiously awaiting your response,
Yours faithfully,
Gill Clark (Mrs)
(Yes, the memorable Gill Clark)
P.S. I'm not sure what to write here Derren, but all the copywriting books I've ever read tell you to add a P.S. to a sales letter, so I'm just following instructions... (although it has to be said, I'm not actually trying to get my hands on your money).
P.P.S. On the other hand, these marketing books do say that people tend to read a P.S., so assuming you're one of those people who do Derren, you should know that I really am serious about talking to you about the possibility of us working together in some way.
I just know that you will find all of this horribly embarrassing... I'm really genuinely sorry about that, but I warn you that you are going to have to get used to this sort of behaviour from now on. Being very clever young women, I'm sure that one day you will understand... Mum xxx |